Note: The poll question (above) is not displaying. It should read: Have you ever been attracted to someone outside your sexual orientation?

Since puberty I have been attracted to both sexes. I have always wanted to have sex with both sexes, and I have had love affairs with both sexes. Never for a moment was there a doubt in my mind -- when somebody of either sex who was my type walked by, I'd get that primordial reflex that all men know about.

In high school I had a total of three girlfriends, one of whom I really loved. But at the same time, after I hit 16, I had JO sessions with most of the guys I knew. Nearly all were str8. And that got me a reputation for being gay. I always found that amusing -- when alone together most guys couldn't whip their dicks out fast enough. Later, they would put me down for being a fag.

I never sucked dick or got fucked during my high school days. But being an exhibitionist, jerk-off sessions were for me extremely hot. Similarly, I never went all the way with girls during high school. But I took great pleasure bringing them to orgasm with my sensitive piano player fingers, and I never got tired of showing them how to jerk off an uncut guy.

So I guess you could say being bi in high school was an advantage. I probably had more sexual encounters than anyone in my graduating class. But in those days, bring bi wasn't an option. The jocks hated me for being queer. I didn't get bullied because I fought back. But my bisexuality was proving to be both a blessing and a curse.

In my 20s I dated a lot of girls and was mostly in the closet. That changed when a gay friend from work took me for a walk on the wild side. Back in the late 70s, before AIDS, the gay revolution was in full swing and Toronto, my home at that time, rivaled San Francisco with its anything-goes gay club scene.

I found myself having a very good time. In my 20s, single, with a downtown apartment and a Jaguar sports car, I was in the right place at the right time and made the most of it. I met a slew of guys, but the sex was superficial -- mutual masturbation usually rather than sucking of fucking. And God help the gay man who fell in love in those days! Long-term relationships were regarded as poison by a group whose self identity was expressed in sexual promiscuity.

Ironically, I did fall in love -- with a girl. And that put me in a very awkward position with my gay friends. In the gay world, you must understand, there is no such thing as bisexual. Guys who say they're bi were thought to be closeted gays who lack the guts to come all the way out. So ironically, with all but a few trusted friends, I was in the "straight closet." After a few months my str8 love affair ran its course. But I never would feel a part of the gay community again.

And that is the bi dilemma. Very few people are truly bi, and we are rejected by both the gay and straight worlds. In recent years some effort has been made to "legitimize" being bi, but there's a long way to go.

Fellow forum members, female and male, if you'd like to discuss the joys and sorrows of being bi, or if you're conflicted and wondering if you might be bi, you're welcome to drop me a line. I'm new to this forum and get the vibe its membership is 99 percent str8. But I suspect There are more than a few double dippers are out there, as well as people who are str8 but afflicted with intermittent attractions for the same sex. I'd like to swap stories with you!

 

The bad bit of being bi, I lost my mates

 

The poll question (at top) is: Have you ever been attracted to someone outside your sexual orientation?

 

I guess yes because I have a thing for a female co-worker and she is straight as far as I know. Girls in the closet are hard to spot unless they dress like a dude.

 

here

• bicurious
• bipolar
• by his lonesome

I don't consider myself any sexuality because I've never had sex or a romantic relationship. I just know I've masturbated to all things on the internet that is porn.

 

I consider myself bi curious in that I have no romantic bond to men and don't pursue anything outside my marriage, but I can appreciate certain men's looks that really turns me on naked.

 

Sorry to hear that. It's happened to me with a (straight, I presume) friend I came out to. Just a comment . . . and that's the last time we were friends. Sad, really.

 

I'm bicurious because I masturbate to gay porn, but I don't see myself having sex with a man. I also masturbate to many other things that I really have no desire to have sex with (else also it would be really wrong to have sex with).